Raining with Cats and Dogs: Changes in Life

Life can seem perfect or darn well close to it and then all of that can be changed within a second. This was the case for my family when my dad was diagnosed with a form of FTD (Frontotemporal Dementia) about 5 years ago. There are many kinds of FTD, but my dad has a very rare kind called PPA (primary progressive aphasia) which affects his ability to speak. Slowly over the last 5 or more years my dad has slowly lost words and eventually it came down to not being able to speak at all. The loss of words is only the beginning of this horrible disease. His brain continues to die and he is now losing the ability to take care of himself, there isn't much social awareness left, and he's slowly just not there anymore. Never did we ever imagine our lives going in this direction and having to watch my dad slowly slip away is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with! FTD is a terminal disease that commonly affects people under the age of 60. There is no cure for it and really there isn't even much awareness of it, unlike alzheimer's.

Just a few weeks ago my mom had to make the hardest decision about whether to move my dad into full time care or not. Not only was my dad needing extra care, but that extra care was becoming too much for my mom to handle. Thank goodness I have one of the strongest moms I know because having to make this decision was not easy at all! Despite all the mixed emotions on if this was the right thing to do, if it was too soon or not, etc my dad moved into a full time memory care home on Sept. 4th.

A new phase of life began for my family on this date. There were lots of prayers, tears and hugs as we supported each other through this big change. This would be where we would go to visit my dad from now on. He was no longer the dad that I remember from growing up, from when I got married, from when I had my first baby. This was a new dad and I am still trying to understand this. I don't love him any less, I just love him unconditionally for who he is now. And I feel incredibly fortunate that where he lives is only about a 5 minute drive from my house. I now see him more than I did when he lived at home 20 minutes away from me. My kids have taken to the change well and Cammy has found a new place that she loves and boy do the other residents LOVE her. She asks me daily if she can go visit Gramps and doesn't usually want to leave after we are done with our visit. This makes me smile when times get a little more trying.

My dad is the only one in this home that has PPA and cannot speak because of it. So knowing how he feels about things is very challenging. The other residents aren't sure what's wrong with him since he doesn't talk or respond when talked to most times. He is also the youngest resident there by many years. Our biggest prayer is that he is accepted by the other residents and finds a place that he feels like he belongs!

None of us know what is in store for my dad and our family in the coming years. There is no timeline on life for FTD patients. He may stay at this place until the end or he may end up back home with a full time in home caregiver. Only time will tell. Every single day is an emotional rollercoaster. What does stay constant each day though is the love and support we have for each other through all of this.